`~ BaDz ~`: Months without - until a month without drugs

When i was still a kid, I keep on playing, no worries about everything I need, I want were given. As we all know, a kid does not know anything about life, they just know about playing, enjoying themselves in a playground, right? I can imagine myself playing with other children but one thing i cannot understand, why I keep on buying shoes and i am no yet a teenager that time that i have "pinagkakaabalahan". When my father was still alive, he and i always go together to malls, banks. He always buys me merienda especially when i am in my tutor. One time,we went to Gaisano, I saw a pair of shoes and i quickly told my papa. He did not approve my request then i cried, he immediately ask me if what kind of shoes i want to buy... then i stopped crying ..now, i'm already a teenager, i just can't do anything about my behavior when i was still a kid but laugh and laugh. Hmm..i experience being spoiled by my beloved papa. I can't still forget, my classmate asked me where did i buy my shoe, so i told my classmate..there in bla..bla chu..chu..the next morning, when we are having our flag ceremony, i felt frustrated because when i saw the shoes of my classm8 the one who asked me, is the same with mine. After that, i did not talk to her but now,i just let that bad memory past and let go...so bad, i don't have the picture of that shoes anymore, but until now, i can still picture it in my mind the color, the style, and the way how it was displayed in the mall. I miss my childhood because i can have all the shoes i want without any sweat at all. But now, my Papa already died.Now i'm already 17, and my mother was the only one who work for us, i still have my attitude of requesting shoes i want and sometimes, my WANTS are not granted, i felt like life is not making any sense but after that, i realize, i should understand why sometimes, things we WANT are not meant for us. Now, i always browse/ surf the net, looking for a new pair of shoes, sometimes looking for new arrivals but i don't buy all the shoes i want and hoping someday, it would me mine. I don't know why am i that addict to the shoes, its just a material. I also save my money for the sake of buying shoes every month since elementary. Last summer 2007, before we went to boracay, i have order a pair of Lacoste shoes . The next month, i bought another pair of shoes and i have this reason that my shoes was already destroyed or extra. The next month of that month, i saw a pair of shoes again and i felt very2x bad because, my mom won't buy it for me and i don't have enough money to buy it. So i just wait the next month comes, so that i have already enough money and i can already buy a new pair of shoes. Sometimes, once in a month, sometimes, once in two-months. Because of this addiction i have, they throw me jokes that i should already start to open a store and sell my shoes. I just reply them with a smile and a sigh...

Summer 2007
before spending our vacation in 2 asian countries

Summer 2008
after spending our vacation in 3 asian countries

June 2008

July 2008

August bought it with my own money
maybe on Nov. 25,2008 will be the last day i will wear this shoes
because i also saw someone wearing this...
selfish ba???